Savage summer holiday “HOT AS FK” survival tips
Mostly for middle aged women with volatile sex hormones.
23/01/25 – 4 min quick read
I don’t need to point out the blatantly obvious, but I will anyway “it’s hot as FK “here in Perth West Aus. We are at the back end of school holidays and have possibly lost the will to live. It’s unlikely we are sleeping due to consistent power outages or not having the privilege of air con.
The kids have waged war on what was once our precious 30 mins down time and now this time to cover the schoolbooks, name every single one of the 6000 pens and pencils that cost you the rest of your dwindling school holiday savings account to afford all that shit. This is the acute chaos phase.
So how do we cope …
Tools you will need
One large long wooden stick
Stupidly large ugly undies
Miso soup / electrolytes / Wine
1 – SET YOUR BOUNDARIES – I have made a point of setting my mood in the morning to the household occupants. Setting the tone for the day.
2 – Hydrate – Before you waterboard yourself with coffee , be sure to hydrate adequately with electrolytes. I like a miso to raise whatever estrogen I have left, possibly giving me 2 hours where I can revert back to my empathetic and compassionate phase. Throughout the day for the love of god, just keep drinking water and keep the caffeine to a minimum. 3pm is acceptable wine time , but use with caution short term buzz leads to a heavy dense rise in cortisol “what goes up must come crashing down” and it’s usually 5 pm bedtime , so if you are going to commit to the booze train , stretch it out with low % or a water after each cheeky drink.
3 – Tell everyone to fuck off – You are not a robot and need some time to wind down, this is when a large wooden object may come in handy. Lay the fk down and chill out for an hour keep the stick close, pop on a face mask and a large pair of undies, the ones that you can fit over your boobs, to ward off any male stupidly thinking this is a non-verbal cue for some nookie, if all else fails use the stick.
4 – Strong social connections- With women online that you can communicate via DMs using the memes/reels you screenshot or saved during the day to help you from sinking into a dangerous fit of rage , uncontrollable tears coupled with a binge eating session that would case atomic bomb like GI issues later or acute constipation that can really disturbe the force within you.
5 – DON’T FORGET TO BREATH … we are nearly over the finish line.
Love from me who feels the exact same way as you.
Much love mazz
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