The Art of Movement Foreplay & How to Lube your life.
By Marilyn Tuna 14/02/25
I woke up this morning feeling very unenthusiastic about taking to the floor to do my rehabilitation and strength training a practice that is not only important for my soul but also for my health. After a few days of heavy peri symptoms and a decent endo flare highly likely due to the fact I’d over done it this week, with a kid rolling into high school, a few high stress business meetings and the loss of an old friend all, quite literally pushing me right over the edge leading to a day in bed fighting off the flare from hell.
But me being me, I take to the floor and try to gain some momentum on my well-worn yoga mat, my brain wrestling with me, my body felt like shit, immobile like every drop of estrogen had been sucked out of me making me feel like the tin man. Laying in the happy baby position rocking from side to side I make a point of trying to set the tone, then all of a sudden, I remember its FKN VALENTINES DAY .. Could I feel any less juicy I thought to myself then laughed laying in a rather uncompromising position. I use the word juicy from a sex hormone perspective, as estrogen really does help to keep our bodies lubricated
During the peri menopause transition, estrogen levels become incredibly volatile, which can lead to joint pain, stiffness, and reduced lubrication. This is often called “menopausal arthritis” or “menopausal joint pain.”
Stimulating collagen production – Collagen is vital for joint cartilage and connective tissue, keeping them strong and flexible.
Promoting synovial fluid production – This fluid lubricates the joints, reducing friction and ensuring smooth movement.
Reducing inflammation – Estrogen has anti-inflammatory properties that help protect joint tissue.
Not only does this transition phase heavily effect our ability to move with grace and enjoyment with seamless recovery but it can also cause vaginal atrophy, causing the vaginal walls to become thinner, less elastic, and less lubricated. This can result in discomfort, itching, and pain during intercourse.
All leading the middle-aged babes fantasizing about digging a hole and sitting in it , purely to avoid anyone putting anything in hers.
Now its not all bad news , because like most things in the human body we can implement a simple strategy “ move it or lose it sister “ approach , but we must proceed with care , clear communication , and bodily understanding.
So let’s start with our middle-aged movement practice and why should we use the practice of foreplay as a way to ease into our movement protocols? we will get to the sex later.
Foreplay is any kind of intimate activity leading up to sexual intercourse that’s meant to build arousal, connection, and pleasure between partners. It can include physical touch (like kissing, caressing, or massage), verbal communication (flirting, talking about fantasies), and other actions to create intimacy and excitement. It’s often considered an important part of enhancing emotional and physical intimacy.
The exact same tact can be used—let’s unpack this. Foreplay is an intimate activity leading up to getting out of bed. If needed, stimulants such as strong coffee can help; they can stimulate the desire to move and, at times the will to live, leading up to the time we invest in our bodies. It’s not going to feel nice at first—we can’t just dive into it. Give yourself some time. We’re not 20 anymore, for god’s sake. And let’s be honest, moving is an intimate practice that should be seen as a reconnection to oneself and, eventually, should become a pleasure between you, yourself, and I.
We can initiate self-acts of massage—I like to use a foam roller to loosen myself up while engaging in fantasies about having a consistently working body, flirting with the idea of another espresso shot. My self-verbal communication might include “Fuck me” or “Okay, that’s enough.” All of this is my version of self-foreplay, heading in the direction of actually enjoying myself. But it takes time and consistency.
However, we must know when to initiate “blue balls.” Unlike at the end of a good lovemaking session, we need to leave ourselves wanting more. We can’t blow our load all in one day. Why, you may ask? Because you need to leave something in the tank for tomorrow—and the rest of the week
It’s crucial to avoid overtraining during perimenopause because the body is more vulnerable to stress due to hormonal changes, especially fluctuating estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol levels. Overtraining can worsen symptoms and lead to long-term health issues.
During perimenopause, your body is already under stress from hormonal fluctuations.
Overtraining raises cortisol, which can cause fatigue, weight gain (especially around the belly), poor sleep, and worsened mood swings.
High cortisol can also negatively affect bone density and muscle mass, so my middle-aged queens “Less” is literally more when it comes to the training game, we need to achieve a momentum of balance, safe volume and consistency, that works within our personal movement boundaries let it work for us not against us, the same can be used with sex and sexual partners
Now, when it comes to the real deal, let’s unpack sex in midlife and some roadblocks that some of us may need to navigate. Vaginal atrophy is a very real symptom of the transition phase that still has taboo-like connotations attached to it, such as “She’s a dried-up old prune.” We really need to take the same approach when caring for the inner walls of our vagina—MOVE IT OR LOSE IT! Or in this case massage it nicely or lose it …..
Another piece of good news is that you don’t always need a male partner to help with this restorative practice. Self-pleasure is absolutely fine! Sexual activity promotes blood flow, which helps maintain tissue elasticity, lubrication, and overall vaginal health. Regular intercourse or other forms of vaginal stimulation keep the tissues more elastic and resilient, minimizing thinning and discomfort. Intimacy releases oxytocin (the “love hormone”) and reduces stress, which can help with hormonal balance and overall body comfort. Non-penetrative forms of intimacy, like touching and massage, also contribute to these benefits if penetration is painful or undesirable. Adding pelvic floor exercises can further enhance these effects.
But we do want to try to reach climax when it comes to sex or self-pleasure. Climaxing has a plethora of benefits that will keep us as ripe as a plum—and not a dried-up old prune!
Orgasms are incredible for women offering many physical, mental, and emotional advantages. They release a surge of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, which reduce stress, elevate mood, and promote deep relaxation—making it easier to fall asleep. Orgasms can also relieve pain by boosting endorphins and blood flow, helping with headaches, menstrual cramps, and joint pain, which is especially useful during perimenopause. Regular orgasms support vaginal health by increasing blood flow, maintaining tissue elasticity, and reducing the risk of dryness and atrophy. They enhance cardiovascular and immune health, improving circulation, lowering blood pressure, and giving the immune system a temporary boost.
The pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm, think of it like “ Pilates for the pussy “ , improving muscle tone and reducing the risk of incontinence and prolapse. Additionally, the release of oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone,” deepens emotional connection and strengthens intimacy between partners, in short far less time thinking about digging that big hole.
The art of applying lube to your life is one that requires attention , care , compassion and communication with both yourself , your chosen sexual partner and in a way all the humans that you come in contact with , pardon the pun. We need to advocate in life for what it is; we need to function at what we feel is our “ new optimal level in middle age. But it must begin within ourselves , we must make time to connect to who we truly are, in restorative ways. Rawdogging your way through this journey without lube will only end in tears and illness in some way.I know we are all fighting an uphill battle in some way or another as women, but we must speak up for what it is we desire.
Happy Valantines day to you all xxx
Much love Mxxxx
marilyntuna.art 